I start this message on a sad/scary/hopeful note. Yesterday I found out that the husband of a friend of mine suffered from a seizure and was taken to the hospital. I can't even imagine what she went through. To be in the ER not knowing what is happening and why and then having to explain it to your children. Today they are going home but surgery has been scheduled. Brain surgery! There is nothing scarier than that.
I've had a pretty rough week when it comes to health issues but I'm still here breathing and not in the ER or awaiting surgery. Talk about putting things in perspective.
When I was first diagnosed at 12, I became quite cynical watching my friends live life like nothing could ever go wrong. Granted, I didn't know what cynical meant back then but when I look back on my actions and words (the few I can remember) that's what I was. That is pretty young to start that kind of behaviour. My cynicism has only gotten worse with age. At 35 when the Crohn's diagnosis came, I was a handful! I have always been the pessimist in the group; the glass is always half-empty. But lately, I'll drink the water in the glass and complain that it's empty and wonder why it never fills up. This is an aspect of my personality that is very hard for me to change and I always assume that I'm the one that is going through the worst possible scenario. But I'm not.
My heart goes out to my friend and her family and my thoughts will be with her as they move on with the surgery and whatever life may bring them afterwards. As for me, yes, there is a lesson to be learned so I'll work on that. But be warned, I may not be here for long. I'm pretty sure there are some pissed off trees somewhere because I have gone through like 20 rolls of toilet paper in just two days!
So, as promised, here is the second verse to "The Wishing Song":
Now I don't have a coat of silk, but I still have the sky.
Now I don't have a lady, no, but there goes a butterfly.
Now I don't have a house of stone, but I can see the sea.
Now most of all I know that I am happy to be me.
I'm happy to be me.
What an appropriate message for me today. This is what I am working on. Being happy. Being me. And being happy while being me.
I wish all of you good health and happiness. And give that person or pet in your life a big hug and kiss. And be happy! Man, if only I could follow my own advice!! Do as I say, not as I do.